I admit it

I have been hiding the truth for too long. I had hoped that the media scandal would blow over, but it's just too great. I can't avoid it so my only reasonable course of action is to come clean.

I also have been having an affair with Tiger Woods.

There. I said it. I feel much better.

I expect the media circus will descend upon me at this startling, but totally foreseeable and inevitable, revelation. I am ready for it.

As proof, I offer the following.